Sleepless in bloggerville

9 am

                Man am I sick of all this stuff with the dog. He was up all night again last night, only this time K got sick of dealing with it and told me to get out of bed and take care of him. Basically he is just up all night, pacing, woofing, not sleeping. I’ve gotten better at sleeping through it with my lovely earplugs, so that many times I do wake up when K gets up or when I hear him tell T to go to sleep etc but then I manage to go back to sleep and I don’t actually get woken up by tigger himself. Many nights K has taken to sleeping out in the living room to keep him quiet. Well we have a vet visit scheduled today. It sure would be nice if they could say what is wrong and we could do something about it. I suppose I should bring a stool sample, which means I’ll need to take him for a walk since that always seems to stimulate the pooping reflexes.

                As for the rest of the day: I have grading to finish, nearly done, I have presents to wrap, the photos to cut and frame, something to make for the party at the neighbor’s tonight (roasted Kale). Must also start knitting the muff for the person who ordered it at the fair. And the usual: feed buns, laundry, work through the stack. And spin more – finish the orange stuff. So that next week I can start a big carding project of blue stuff.

                The girls are going on a “Quest” today. Meaning I’ll have the afternoon here to myself which is actually very nice. Been more social lately than I am used to. And there are no plans for Friday which is lovely. Need to figure out if we have all the Bouche ingredients, and make more truffles with L. They came out great! And we figured out how to temper the chocolate and everything.

                Let’s see. I’ll start by getting dressed. Then feed buns. Then start another laundry and bring up a wet one to hang out. Then I guess I’ll pull out the rest of the grading – just finish up a question on one page and one more page to go. Not bad. I’ll do some spinning when I need a break. I may need to take a nap at some point since I didn’t get much sleep from 3:30 on with me on the couch and tigger first of all outside, then in on the couch with me.

                Ok time to get to it. I feel like I also have a lot of emails to do. That kind of goes in the deal with the pile section. And clean out email boxes.

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grumps and booth photos

8:20 am

                Been getting up really late these days. Lazy bum I guess, but also I have not been sleeping well and I can blame it in part on the dog. He has not been sleeping well and that makes for rough nights for the rest of us. I have an appointment to take him to the vet tomorrow. They, as happens with doctors in general, will probably have no idea and won’t say much. Well, he also has that lump near his butt and we may need to get that removed.

                Boy have I also been in the worst mood. Happens when classes end. I guess I no longer have that schedule or stimulation to keep me going. just grading. The college is being completely closed Dec 23 – Jan 2 and after that the prof is off to a conference to SC so we need to figure out when we are doing grades. I am annoyed (mad, upset) because of his announcement the other day that he will not be teaching next fall (which I expected) but that his post-doc will probably also not be here (the dept has to way limit the number of visiting faculty it hires) so who the hell knows what I’ll be doing or teaching, but probably not this course we worked so hard on. It may never be taught again, who knows.

                Another mood factor is having the girls here. Makes no sense, right? I am so glad they are here, I really like seeing them, I want them around so much…. But it is also stressful. And it is not always such a happy thing. They don’t really seem to want to be around me very much, they do want to be together which is good, they just seem to see me as an intrusion and more annoying than anything. And they tell me how annoying I am and when I do things wrong. It is wearing. And sad. Remember the days…when I was the center of everything. When I was the best and they loved me most of all. Well those are gone. Expected, normal, how it should be, but still hard as hell. And it just feeds my own crap of feeling inadequate and unimportant etc etc etc. oh well. There will be some good things.

                Tonight we’ll go to Wed Night Dinner so that should be good. Latkes. I need to make something with squash to bring. Tomorrow we were invited to the neighbor’s across the street – annual Solstice gathering. We’ll see how that is. I may bring more roasted kale which is what I brought to the bio lunch. Only I think I may have eaten too much of it and maybe that is why my stomach felt so bad yesterday. I’ve been having a lot of trouble with the regurgitation thing. It is annoying, uncomfortable, and after it happens for a while (after pretty much every meal) it gets painful in my throat. One thing to try is really slowing down when I eat, keeping things very unstressful, and eating not very much.

                Today: grading, bunnies, make the squash thing, get out the gifts I have and see if I still need to do any shopping. I do want to go to Michaels to get picture frames for the photos of the girls I printed up.

                Good stuff, I did manage to meet with the new tax person for mom and I met with a financial advisor that he knows. He pretty much reinforced what I already knew which is that there is not much sense in moving all Mom’s stuff anywhere and that we should stick with the guy she has. He’s doing the best he can. We just need to keep better track of her spending and all.  It is good to have done all that, not that I feel like it is off my plate so much, just not on top of the pile anymore. But the pile is still way too big and that’s another chore for the day: keep on plugging at that. And maybe just maybe I’ll do more spinning. In fact I know I will because to some extent that keeps me sane? Or just that I am compelled? It is a good thing to do when the girls are together in the kitchen and I want to be nearby and to listen, but they don’t necessarily want me in the middle of things. I can’t hear everything they say, but at least I feel like I am kind of part of it all.

Here's some photos of my booth from the latest fair, just to add a bit of color:

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Lists!

12-11-11 Sunday

9:30 am

                Man I am astoundingly glum today. I suppose because there is so much yuckola stuff I must do, and little fun. Oh I should amend that – I’ve been spinning some really nice variegated orange stuff so there is that to do. I have the bookclub book to finish which is theoretically a good thing to do, except that it is the Scarlet Letter which is not exactly uplifting. Pretty glum stuff. And then there is all the actually yuckola stuff: look at fair stuff, look at mom’s stuff, finish grading the power points (I only have 2 to go, what is the problem?), finances finances finances. As ever I have this green around the gills feel. I feel like my eyes are just drooping and sad. I’ve been feeling crappy stomach-wise. What I must do is just gird myself and start tackling things. Fair stuff first since I was supposed to meet with the workshop coordinator but she postponed so I might as well use the time figuring out what I should have done before the meeting. Funny: last weekend I was at the fair both days, all day. The weekend before I had the fair meeting. this weekend I had nothing (just this meeting and bookclub tonight) which should have been lovely ecstasy, but has been truly glum. Well, I spent a big part of yesterday doing errands. I managed to do some xmas shopping for the girls, and get all kinds of suggestions from K who spent the time telling me what he wants (to be fair I had asked) in great detail while I was wanting to think about getting things for the girls. Then we got groceries and things from cvs. All stuff that needed doing and was the only time to do it, since I so rarely have the car these days. Still it took up most of the day. Today, once K gets home from church I must again take the car and pick up the CSA share. At least it goes all the way through today. I was afraid I had missed it.

                Really the whole reason I am writing is to avoid doing the crappola stuff. Like going through the huge piles of papers. And paying bills. And looking at Mom’s finances. I guess I’d better break it all into tiny steps:

·         Get out the fair notebook

·         Look up the things I should do before fair meeting next week

·         Put the piles of paper on the table

·         Go through one at a time

·         Do the things that need to be done from the pile

·         Check into bills on line

·         Pay any that need paying

·         Pull up the 2 power points I still need to grade

·         Pull up the grading rubric

·         Write comments on them

·         Add grades

·         Check back at all the others to see if the final grades make sense

·         Put final grades on them

·         Send off the filled out rubrics

·         Get out Mom’s finance papers

·         Decide what next steps I need to take:

o   What questions to ask her financial adv

o   What to talk to the accountant about

So does this not all seem like “enough”? I think I will print out this list and get to it.

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