6:25 am
Going
to be hot this week and it already feels muggy upstairs so I am sitting on the
porch to write. It will mean that when I finish I cannot look up the history of
rocking chairs, or the other thing that just came to my mind and then left it.
That happens all the time – I think of something and then it is gone. The house
smells like mice. I just filled the hummingbird feeder and a hummingbird
already found it. Today will bring more carding, though it may be sticky and
unpleasant (there’s a breeze now so it is lovely). And all day long I’ve been
asking myself “what is the point?” Like, what is the point of carding carding
carding? I like to do it, or at any rate it feels very satisfying. I think it
fills a compulsive need. It feels like I am accomplishing something, but in
reality what am I accomplishing? For one thing, who will appreciate or buy the
yarn that finally results? If I were doing this to make a sweater or as a gift
for someone it would be different, but this will just add to my collection of
skeins that I haul to booths at fairs. And oh it is so tedious and frustrating
to spend an entire day at a fair with people looking and asking and saying how
lovely but not buying. And what is the point of that anyway? It is not as if I
desperately want to make a killing selling fiber stuff. We don’t exactly need
the money. It’s just that it justifies my spending time doing it if I make
money at it. It goes back to when K used to ask why don’t I sell the sweaters I
make? In other words, why bother with all that if I can’t make money from it?
Since after all he kills himself making so much money, I guess he figures I
should, too. In some ways it is a stupid useless thing to do. How does it help
anyone, contribute to the world in any way? I do like the idea of people
learning about how yarn is made, where it ultimately comes from, a forgotten
craft, etc etc. And there is creativity involved and that is important to me.
Well, really, as I was thinking last night while I sat by the brook, I just
plain like to make things. I like to be busy with my hands. I like the act of
creating. I guess by making yarn I can
enable other people’s urge to make things too. Not that most of them need enabling,
since the whole issue of stash hording is a problem for a lot of people. Most
knitters do NOT need more yarn. If I started a business of finishing UFO’s –
projects that have been abandoned - I would truly be doing a service. And to
tell the truth I actually do like doing that kind of thing. Maybe I should put out ads for that. Another
thing I come back to in my circular thinking process is that I need to do more
marketing. After all, if I sell more skeins I can better justify the time I
spend making them. Etsy, fairs, making more kits, making my booth more
appealing. Which of course gets back to enabling people. Not that it is bad
getting them knitting, that is a good thing. It’s the buying so the yarn can
sit around that is a problem. Speaking
of which, I have my own stash issue, with fleeces. I could probably do like B
and never buy more wool, but just spin what I have and it would last the rest
of my life. Anyway I’ve been pretty good lately and only bought for classes, as
in what I must do now to get roving for the classes this summer. I need to
contact Barberic farm about that.
Time
for a new topic? But what? I didn’t sleep so well last night, I felt like my
brain was going going going all night long. I did the sitting on the porch just
vegging thing again, but then before I actually went to bed I checked email and
wrote to Aaron. And earlier in the day I had other things to deal with –
specifically the email from P about the invasive control and the need for a
check from Mom. At least it is for $300 and not the full $1200. I need to call
her this morning about it and I don’t want to. So many things I just don’t want
to do, including think about fair stuff or think about work looming in 2 more
months or anything else except carding and listening to The Time Traveler’s
Wife. The cleaning lady is coming today and I am debating whether I should
leave, do a grocery run, go to the library to pick up another book on cd. Part
of me does not want to, it’s kind of the same that I resent having to spend so
much time making and eating meals. A big advantage of TMI, no cooking or
cleaning, but the truth is that one still spends a lot of time dealing with
eating. Why does time seem to pass more slowly there? It feels like it is
zooming by here. 2 days gone already, only 3 more and then K comes, then there
is really just one more day and I must go to the fair meeting. And before that
I will have to pull together an agenda and get Deb to print it out.
I think
I will head inside so I can access my blog page and look up the history of
rocking chairs.
Visit my new Etsy Shop!!
http://www.etsy.com/shop/twistedmysteries
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