9:20 am
Depressed depressed depressed. So what is new? Actually now I feel a bit better than when I woke up, possibly because of doing my stretches, and possibly because while doing them I was listening to this amusing podcast by an Australian knitter:
Now I just need to figure out how to put the podcasts onto my little blue player and also find the little blue player so I can listen to them while I do my running. The PlayAway about the Byzantine Empire has nearly finished. Of course, if I listened to the whole thing again it would probably be fine since I only half-listened to most of it. All those names of emperors!
Today I will have to do tons of nasty financial stuff and tackle the nasty piles, but first….
Writing prompts for today:
Magnify, unable, strategy
Hmmmmmmm. “Her strategy was unable to magnify the problem.” “It magnified her inability to strategize.”
Magnify. Make bigger. Make problems bigger. Make tiny things bigger. Magnifying glasses for looking at cool stuff like bugs. I do have a very nice magnifying glass, one of the tiny 10x ones that is great for carrying about. Magnifying problems, worries, concerns. I certainly do that. Magnify them way out of proportion, something I’ve been thinking about lately because I’ve been feeling so anxious and worried and overwrought. Something I need to learn not to do because it makes life not especially fun, gives a nasty sad look to my face, probably is not at all good for my health.
Unable. Boy that’s a loaded one. There are many things I am unable to do. We are “supposed” to not think in terms of unable, but instead think positively: “Yes, I can!” and is the “unable” because I really can’t (run a 4 minute mile, ski downhill, get a job as a professor) or at least can’t right now given my current life, or is it because I don’t feel up to it somehow (get the garden set up to grow my own sunflower seeds and oats, have better friendships, deal with the woodlot and help Mom figure out her finances). Or does it all just feel so overwhelming???
Strategy. I suppose I should strategize on ways to get it all done. Or strategize on ways to make life better. Or strategize on how I can be more useful to the world.
These are all coming to the same old same old themes and are quite depressing.
Magnificat. Isn’t that something Catholic? Like what Mary said when god told her she was going to have Jesus? Like - “oh thank you so much, that is great, you are wonderful.” Instead why didn’t she say “fuck that god old buddy – a baby out of wedlock? You think this guy Joseph is going to believe it is “god’s” baby. Oh sure. No thank you.” Magnificent. The world is in fact magnificent, one just has to find and focus on those parts. This snow we just had is in fact magnificent, once one gets past the shoveling part.
Strategies for coping: focus on the magnificent parts and on the able not the unable. Sounds very trite, but is worth working on. Magnify the able parts. Accentuate the positive, eliminate the negative and don’t mess with mister in-between.
It’s funny. When we do our writing get togethers, I often do a lot of random writing and then I get freed up to write something like often a poem. But this is not working this way for me. I think it is the computer. It is such a different medium. Maybe I should try pen and paper again for mps and to hell with blogging….. people look at the site, but I think they are more interested in actual angora or spinning type stuff and not my ramblings. Something to think about.
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