Morning

8 am

                Boy I just don’t know. It’s summer. The living is easy. But I feel like shit. My mind is constantly full of bad terrible awful disastrous stuff, like Alexander in the book having his very bad day. I think about what it will be like getting old (very bad). I think about how hard life will be for the girls (very hard). I think about how ugly I am (very ugly and bound to get uglier). I think about environmental disasters – like invasive plants and terrible toxins and overpopulation and sprawl. I think about the precarious state of our food supply and things like E. coli outbreaks. I suppose some of it comes from the reading I do of magazines/newspapers. And some from listening to the radio. But I do not want to be an ignoramus. I want to be an informed citizen. It is my duty. Some comes from “too much leisure” as in, not exactly time on my hands, given all the huge ToDo lists, but opportunity to think random thoughts while doing those things. Actually once I get doing I am not usually so bad. It seems worse in the morning first thing. And maybe if I get myself off my duff and run this morning it will help. I certainly do have a lot of the ToDo’s today because tomorrow I go to the RiverFest and am not really ready. I started in on organizing things yesterday and it is a damn good thing I did because there is a lot to organize. I worked on the paper labels last night and printed up a bunch, they look sort of like this:

Angel the Angora Rabbit

which now must be cut and folded. And I got all the skeins etc out in part so they could air out and not smell so much of mothballs. I do not have high expectations for this fair, but I will try to enjoy it as best I can. I also got to the library yesterday and picked up some new books on cd and 2 “playaways” to listen to while I run. I think another part of the problem is that home alone as I am I do not have anyone to talk to. L popped by for about 15 minutes on her way from Maine to NY to go canoeing. It was veryvery nice to see her, but actually probably harder than if she had not popped by because her leaving left such a void. I think it was hard on G, too, since she had changed plans so she could “hang out” with L, but there was no hanging out involved. There was moving of stuff, finding of stuff, then goodbye.  I do very much like having G around, but she does not especially want to talk to me. Ok off to run. I guess I feel a tad better, thus a benefit to Morning Pages.

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