8 am


I’m sitting out in the “sun room” using K’s computer which is nice. “sunroom” is in quotes since a rather cold definitely autumnal rain is falling today, so sun there is not. I am very glad that I checked the weather and brought in the laundry last night.

I was very discouraged after Saturday’s fair. I only made $300 and after the fee that comes to $250. It seems so ridiculous and Saturday night I realized that I was having trouble going to sleep because I was so angry. All the work involved in just plain making things, then one must add in everything else: the time involved in labeling things, packing the car, setting up/taking down, sitting there all day talking talking talking to people. I for the most part don’t mind talking to folks, certainly I love talking about my bunnies and spinning, and fiber prep, all that, I just wish they would buy stuff!!!! The reality is that for the time I spend making them, my items are way underpriced. But if I priced them higher then really no-one would buy them. It is a dilemma. I did some Focusing Meditation – where I visualize what feels bad (it always rests right in my belly) and then visualize changing it in some way – that is how I realized that my main emotion was anger – and that helped me feel much better. Didn’t of course solve anything, but I felt better and could sleep.

Then yesterday I spent more or less all day grading. Yuckola.  K went to the Transition Towns meeting which I had been thinking of going to, but I realized that there was no way. I have not really heard from him how it went. I have also dropped the ball somewhat on 350. I’m sure there is shitloads I should be doing and I haven’t. I guess I’ll try to think about it today. And also write 2 recommendations, and everything else I need to do. What I won’t do is give blood. I am scheduled to, but I won’t have the car and it would be way too hard to try to figure out how to get to the site. I need to reschedule for a time when it is easy for me to get to.

This cold rain makes me realize that Winter is in fact coming and guess what – I am far far far from ready. We should order another load of wood (for next year, we have enough for this year), and we need to split what we have. I also really need to get hold of the chimney sweep. Maybe I can put K onto the task of getting another chimney cap that I was supposed to do last year! I am embarrassed that I did not get it then and I don’t want to call the chimney sweep because of it! How stupid is that?

Oh, nice thing – L just called to ask me to send her the Once music book and we chatted for just a minute. I had been feeling guilty because I had not been in touch with her at all (guilt guilt guilt – one of my fortés), but she was fine. I need to remember that if she needs me or anything she will call. And that is fine. Ok, gotta go feed buns, take a shower, get ready for work.

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