Discouragement, happiness and esthetics

10:30 am
    I have been feeling discouraged with my blog when I go on it and have no comments. I must remind myself that the point is morning pages, the blog entries are an additional “benefit.” Maybe someday they will become something else, for now, they are just there as kind of a place holder and if anyone reads them or is interested, well cool. Of course if anyone DOES read them, wouldn’t it be great if they could comment….hint hint hint…..but I will not base my happiness or feelings of self-worth on that.
    Went to a concert called Transformations last night and it was quite fun. Went a little too long for my complete happiness, though the last act was Spinal Tap and thus the funniest. It was a very pleasant scene, outside, really nice temperature since by the time we arrived the sun was getting behind the trees, lots of interesting families and kids. There was one very sketchy looking guy wearing what could only be described as a leather collar and leash. It was somewhat disturbing, but I decided that, this being after all, Northampton, I would go with it, live and let live, reserve judgment, whatever floats your boat, all that. Then Spinal Tap got on and it turned out that he was the crazy drummer and the leash was part of his costume! It was a bit of a relief, but I must remind myself that if someone wants to really walk around with a collar and leash (as my friend said before we understood the context – he was probably not the dominant one…) then they certainly should be able to.
    My friend came over yesterday and that was very nice. We arranged to meet next week on fair business. And meanwhile I MUST call the Barn 5 woman to start discussing that. I showed her my wrist warmers of the brown/purple stuff, the stuff that she has seen as it went through many of its manifestations and peregrinations from nasty pale purpley-pinkish stuff to all sorts of attempts to get something pleasing. And she liked it! Mikey liked it! In fact she said she really really liked it. That was very affirming. Somehow I have a strange relationship with esthetics. I like many things, but they do not necessarily have to be things that others would consider beautiful. And I have trouble with color. I love looking at things and being aware of the shape, texture, form, placement in space. A color and whether it goes well with another color I have more trouble with. Kind of comes back to the difficulty I used to have with the carpets downstairs and never remembering if the green one was in the west room, or if that was the red one.  Not that I am color blind, I can tell colors apart, and I certainly have opinions about colors, those I like and those I do not, but even a color I don’t “like’ I can appreciate perhaps in a certain setting. It is complex.
    I did more plucking yesterday and only got through with Blizzard. He is a hard one to do because his coat is so dense and it had gotten very tangled so I did a lot of detangling and not just plucking. It also was really too hot to pluck, as today will be, also. I did finish the purple/brown and will now wind it off, wash it and it is done! I started flicking the ends of some nice white Romney that I will blend with angora and make many batts that can be dyed. I will try the solar technique. The other thing I have to do today is be around to go over to the rental house to get people keys and to open the garage so a former renter can get his stuff out. I have a feeling that will make the day very disjointed.
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