Blahs

7:15 am

                Sinking sinking sinking. That’s how I feel. Blah. I woke up feeling this way and it has lingered through the fascinating processes of using the bathroom, taking my psillium and pills and reading my email. Email is rarely inspiring and mostly puts me (or keeps me) in a bad mood because it usually involves things that I need to deal with and don’t want to.

                I swear the highlight of my day yesterday was talking to the adorable exterminator guy who came to spray for carpenter ants. He looked like he was about 16. Other than that, I ran (for a solid hour – the long loop), I dealt with bunnies (just the basics – feeding and what not), I prepared for the exterminator – moving stuff, and I spun up more of the brushed angora. I’m using the big wheel and after several hours of using it, my thumb is back to really hurting. It didn’t hurt while I was actually spinning, but it sure hurt last night. Not so bad now. I think once I finish the current project I will go back to the upright wheel. I think I’ll finally work on the angora boucle I’ve been wanting to try for ages. Oh and another problem: I had to keep switching yesterday from inside to out because of the spraying, and somehow in all the switching I left the old radio/cd player outside and it started to rain. So now it is having issues. Last night it was making terrible scratchy noises when I tried to use the radio, and the cd player would not work at all. I brought it into the house to try to dry it a bit, let’s hope it worked. I don’t have any other cd player that I can bring outside. Well, I suppose I could use L’s computer, she offered me the use of it while she is at camp this week. I just sure as hell better be more careful with that.

                I put most of the stuff back from yesterday’s pulling of everything away from the walls. But I still have some to do and in doing it I naturally realized that (no surprise) there is a lot of weeding-out that could be done. I had to move some books and in putting them back I sorted and made a pile of those I do not need. Of course during the school year I always think that summer will be the time to sort and get rid of lots of stuff. Then summer comes and it doesn’t happen. Maybe should just try tackling some small area, then another and another and work at it that way.

                Thinking and writing all this is not helping my mood at all. Tonight is a meeting about the next 350 event. I kind of dread it of course. Most of the attendees will probably be very “churchy” folks and I do not find them very inspiring in terms of thinking of things to do. They are very dedicated and work hard, but the things they think of tend to be kind of lame. I also do not want to get myself so involved that I get really burned out as I have the last 2 years.

                I’ve been feeling very friendless. I heard back from a friend and she says she’d very much like to get together once she gets back from CA (they are delivering her daughter to college there right now). And another friend seems interested in getting together. I should email her about “doing lunch” maybe later this week. And of course, another friend will get back tomorrow sans 2 children so I imagine she will be feeling somewhat at a loss. Maybe she’ll be open to tea in town somewhere. Today is Tuesday. Tonight is the meeting, Thursday or Friday I have a dentist appointment, other than that my week is pretty open. Which is great. Open is great. It’s just that I’m feeling so down and lonely. Oh brother.

                I did manage to order stuff from the “registry” for my niece. Mostly just bits of their plate set to fill it all in to a full set of 12. It all seems incredibly excessive to me, but whatever. And I have something reasonable to wear (from L and my trip to TJ Maxx). L says she still needs shoes and plans to go find some on Saturday before the wedding… We need to remember to bring the mead wine that we bought at the winery in NY for them.

                Well, it is now 7:45. I guess I had better feed the buns and then do my big run. I think I had better bring a back up PlayAway since the one I am listening to is nearly done. It is a pretty good story, but kind of depressing and very very sad in parts. I ought to be more careful to find stories that are more upbeat, but how can one know?

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