flow

9 am

                Did my run. Did my stretches. Good for me. And, on a different note, but relative to what I wrote yesterday, I came upon a different journal in the afternoon and it had the effect of putting me in a much better mood. It was from the summer after graduating high school and it seems like that time, at least, I was pretty cheerful. There were lots of positive entries about how much I loved things like the woods and my raccoon babies. It was kind of sweet and reminded me that at my core I am not a depressed person but one that really does have a strong capacity for appreciating small things. Reminds me of when I was so sick and couldn’t do anything, but got great enjoyment from just sitting and watching the patterns made by my hands. It is true that as soon as I could I was up and about, I didn’t just decide to spend the rest of my days looking at my hands. But sometimes I get caught up in obligations and duty and worrying about accomplishments (an odd thing to bring up when you consider that I don’t actually accomplish much, as the greater world would see it) that I forget to, as they say, slow down and smell the flowers. Or appreciate the pattern of my hand, which, after all, is something one can do any time at all.

                Another interesting thing is thinking about this book I am listening to called Drive. It is about what motivates us, and one part was about “flow” when you are doing something that just feels completely right. A study was done in which a bunch of people were contacted randomly through a week and asked to rate what they were doing in terms of how satisfied they felt. The idea being that you feel most satisfied when there is flow, and of course different people experience flow at different times and doing different things. So this is something I will try to pay attention to. I can already state that being at the play and then at bookclub were not times of flow. I enjoyed the play, it was good to go with L, it was nice to be at the pub at bookclub with A and M, but it was not flow. When did I feel flow yesterday? When I was spinning – really just plying the angora.

                *uh oh, these 2 white rabbits are fighting. They are male, brothers, and it is not surprising. I do not have another cage readily available, but I may have to rig something together, then arrange to “harvest” one. I do have some room now in the freezer. The rabbit that I had from last week I finally cooked up yesterday and will make into a nice curry. Oh, actually I do have a cage and have just moved one of them. Problem solved.

                Anyway, when else did I feel flow? I worked on rewinding the warp yesterday. That went pretty well. I have it all wound on the front roller. Now I need to wind it back onto the back, but when I asked G if she would help me (I can’t really do it alone, since I have to pay attention to the tension) she declined. What has this to do with flow? Well the original rewinding felt flowish. Then I was stymied and moved to cooking rabbit, which was also flowy. Well. I will keep paying attention as I can. Meanwhile, it is time to meditate then do rabbits. I have 2 that are due to have babes soon – today?

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